Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Another relationship analogy

Hot off the heels of my last post about comparing my affair with the gym to that of the worst kind of relationship you have ever been in, (missed it? you can check it out here) it got me thinking about another analogy, this time of comparing the experience of searching for a job with the kind of relationship that ends abruptly and with no explanation.

If you're lucky enough to have never experienced this sort of the relationship, then it goes a bit like this. Ironically, (in my experience) the said man-we'll call him T- relentlessly chased me and hounded me for a date. Feeling flattered, I agreed, to which I realised he was quite a nice chap. He was older, complimentary, attentive and gorgeous-I couldn't quite believe my luck. For the few weeks before and after our date, I felt quite overwhelmed by T's texts, calls etc, and allowed myself to think, hang about this bloke seems to really like me...

Preoccupied by thoughts of cosy evenings together, crisp, autumnal walks holding hands and gazing into each others eyes over candlelit dinners, I failed to notice that T's texts had in fact become less frequent, he signed off with less x's and he'd stopped emailing me at work. Before I knew it, it had been 3 days and I hadn't heard from him despite texting him no less than 5 times, checking my phone every 3 minutes, and texting myself just to check it's working properly.

His phone might be broken, I told myself, a fairly stupid presumption, since considering the abundance of social networking sites at our disposal, there's really no excuse for not getting in touch. The days stretched to weeks and that was it, I never heard a thing. Not a sausage. I felt very short changed.



Cue, my mind going in to complete, irrational overdrive. What's wrong with me? Did I come on to strong? Was I not interested enough? Am I not pretty enough? Am I really boring? Has he met someone prettier/nicer/smarter/thinner than me? I eventually found out nearly a year later that he was engaged and expecting a child, and he told me he thought we wanted different things and I was too career driven (which is ironic considering my current situation).


So as I've wittered on for some time now I better get to the point of this post. As it is drummed into us every day about the current tough situation for graduates, rising levels of unemployment, the crazy amount of people who apply for each job position etc, it seems to no longer the protocol for a company to even acknowledge your job application after you send it off flying through cyber space. And like the T situation, there's nothing worse than not knowing.

The deadline for applications pass, you have no real idea how long it will take for a decision to be made, so you obsessionally refresh your emails, the company's twitter feed, your sent folder (just to check it actually sent), hell I've even had my Linkedin tab permanently open in the hope that somebody from the company may have viewed my profile, giving me the faintest glimmer of hope.

But there's just a big load of NOTHING. Time passes and you realise you obviously aren't getting an interview, and that's when the crazy thoughts kick in: Is my CV really crap? Do I come across like a knob? Am I not clever enough? Was my grammar shit? AM I JUST ENTIRELY UNEMPLOYABLE?All these crushing thoughts that could so easily be dispelled by a simple email, jeez even an automated confirmation saying they had received your application would be nice.

Today I received an email telling me that I had not been successful in the job I had applied for 2 weeks ago as there were other people whose skills and experience suited the vacancy better than mine did. Yes it was disappointing, but I am so grateful to the lady in HR who sent me that email. Because although it wasn't the email I wanted to receive, it's a damn sight better than receiving nothing.

Take note T's of the world.

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