Just browsing through my documents on my laptop and found this little gem from my uni creative writing days! It made me chuckle so I had to share...
A Day in the Life of a Student’s Bed
Day after day and night after night,
I suffer in silence of my tiresome plight.
While I may omit the occasional creak or groan,
It does not compare to how I wish I could moan:
“Get off your arse; stop lying on me all day!
You must have lectures to attend, to help you on your way?”
How you will cope in the real world and find a job,
Is simply beyond me, when you’re such a lazy slob.
You never change my sheets, stale and encrusted with dirt,
Unless you’re out on the pull, and looking for a bit of
skirt.
You litter me with crumbs from your breakfasts in bed,
Even vomited on me once and cried you wish you were dead.
The cause was sambuca and a game of Ring of Fire,
Yet you still didn't clean me, just pulled the duvet higher.
You whinge that you’re skint and how life isn't fair,
If you found the money underneath me you’d be a millionaire.
Daily you subject me to Jeremy Kyle and This Morning,
Still I suppose anything is better than your deafening
snoring.
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